photo of the day - sept 10

Happy Birthday, Dad.
9/10/1938-3/8/2008

new favorite

thirty years of PacMan

I was surprised for a moment yesterday when I opened Google to find they were celebrating the 30th anniversary of PacMan. Thirty years, really? And then I remembered back to my childhood and the day we got PacMan for our Atari.

Up until that point, I think we had Space Invaders and Asteroids and the standard Atari fare. We (the brothers and I) had pooled our money together and our mom had reserved a copy of PacMan for us at Sears. Living in a small town, this meant a full-blown field trip to obtain this special jewel. So, Saturday morning chores, a trip to Jackson to McDonald's (yes, that seemed special at the time) and then to Sears to purchase our beloved new game.

Back home, Brian and I commenced playing, figuring things out as we went, while William, age 7, sat down and read the instruction manual. Apparently this process served him well, as he is now a mechanical engineer. And, I am told, he was quickly able to thrash us at most video games, perhaps due to his methodical approach.

We enjoyed many hours of Atari, and never had another gaming system. The old Atari stayed around, sheltered safely in the attic. When our dad moved from Henderson to Nashville, the Atari made the move with him. We found it in a box in a closet when we were sorting things out after his funeral. None of us wanted to keep it, so we let it go with the rest of the stuff that went to the estate auction.

Several months later, I received an email from a long-time friend. She had recently obtained an old Atari and a box of games from a local on-line auction company. Going thru the box, she found some hand-written score sheets in the bottom with our names on it. The Clifford Atari. I kid you not. So now she has the Atari that she played at our house oh-so-many years ago.

I should add that this photo of William playing PacMan was taken last year at the Jacksonville Airport while we waited on Brian to arrive for his commencement ceremony for his doctorate degree. So, on Saturday, Brian got his Ph.D, and on Sunday we had to take him to the airport arcade. For PacMan.

today my mom would be 69 years old

my life's really fun

This was one of my favorite moments of Thanksgiving:

4 year-old niece and I are out on our one-on-one outing, which is becoming a tradition when I visit. We're headed to a coffee shop and bookstore. I see a cupcake shop, which is famous for its cupcakes and pull in.
Me: Here's a cupcake shop! Do you want to go in?
4 year-old: Can we get a cupcake?
Me: Yes.
4 year-old: Then, yes.

We're sitting at the bar, enjoying our cupcakes when she says, "My life's really fun."
I want THAT kind of joy.

thinking of my mom today

On no day of the year is my mother's absence in my life felt more keenly than on my birthday. Seventeen years ago today my mom came to visit me in Birmingham, only to wake up paralyzed on one side of her body, due to a brain tumor that would be discovered later that day. The days between then and her death on Christmas Eve of that same year are somewhat of a blur. Seems like both forever ago and only yesterday at the same time. 

In spite of my workaholism, which has plagued me for most of my adult life, I can look back on that time and know I did the right thing. I took a significant amount of time off from my job to be there. This was before the inception of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), but my employer (actually my boss) was sympathetic and gave me a lot of leeway that would not be allowed today in corporate America. For that I am grateful. 

If I inherited anything from my mother, I hope it was her bent toward hospitality, and I think I have. Hosting gatherings in my home comes easy for me and is something that brings me joy.

I recently reconnected with a childhood friend on facebook. We have not been in touch since high school graduation. Here's what she had to say about her memory of my mom: 

" To this day, I still think of your mama every time my son brings friends home after school. Your mother was THE BEST at timing things to where we would arrive and she would have snacks ready and waiting for us and she would serve us like she had been waiting all day long for the moment of our arrival...."

The thing that makes me smile most about this is knowing that someone remembers that from thirty-plus years ago. 

Now, off to do some house-cleaning to prepare for my out-of-town guest...

Brian P. Clifford, PhD

A few photos from Brian's commencement last weekend in Jacksonville. A fun time with the other two Clifford kids.

my favorite superheroes

these are my favorites

Christi Pugh found the old Clifford Atari

What a small world we live in. I received this email today from a friend from childhood/college. The auction company she references is the company we used to dissolve my dad's estate back in March.

"I buy stuff from _________ Auctions & they do consignment sales every month, so in May I was bidding on a few things & saw this huge Atari lot. I had been thinking of getting one just for fun anyway, so I bid on it & won. Got it home & going through the box were the games & instructions, etc. At the bottom I found a piece of paper that had scores & names for William, Brian, & on the back your scores in your handwriting with your name, which I cannot mistake because we wrote so many letters. It was eerie...I sat on my couch for 30 minutes at first amazed saying to my dogs, "I have Amy's Atari," over & over again. I called Dena. I said, "This is the weirdest thing that ever happened to me." What are the odds that I would get your Atari? We used to play it in your bedroom. Yes, it does work. I cleaned it. A couple of the games need cleaning & don't work, but Donkey Kong works great. It is a funny stress reliever."

home sweet home?

Hanging out with the latest issue of Oxford American tonight. Kinda weird as I ponder the concept of home a little differently than I did a mere 2 1/2 months ago.

Losing my Dad, the last parent, has caused a profound shift for me in what home means. When I walked out the door that last day, after taking care of disposing/distributing his worldly goods and left that place that symbolized home, something changed. Not necessarily good or bad, just different. Still working through it.

in memory

Jimmy P. Clifford
September 8, 1938 - March 8, 2008

We buried my Daddy on Tuesday. It still doesn't seem real. Saturday night I received a phone call from my brother that I'll not soon forget. It was a shock to all of us. Twelve hours later I was at the airport, on my way to Tennessee.

We've done this drill enough times that I planned the funeral on the plane and had a list of pastors, pallbearers, and songs by the time I was on southern soil. Folks in our hometown were super gracious, providing us with places to stay, childcare, and plenty of fried chicken and sweet tea.

While it was sad, and I still feel like I've been punched in the stomach, there were some funny and some surreal moments. Maybe I'll write about some of them in detail in the days to come. But, oh, the stories I could tell.

Like the lady who apologized for missing the funeral due to a monthly dog grooming appointment. And the dog wears little girl baby clothes. But he is a boy dog.

Or the close-talking man who I don't really know who asked to be a pall bearer not long before the service. I had to delicately turn down his request - because he had asked one of my brothers, who told him to talk to me because I was making those decisions. Yeah, thanks.

Or the cousin who had his camera at the cemetery and wanted family pictures.

Can't really top the preacher who mentioned (and not just in passing) my parent's separation in the course of the eulogy, though. Coulda gone all day with airing that, I think. Maybe I'll send him a therapy bill, cuz that's just bringing up too much old baggage.

We're 0 for 2 in the parent department now.

kindred spirits

That's my girl! My niece shares my love of music and I recently turned her on to the iPod....Springsteen and the Seeger Sessions Band doing Old Dan Tucker. Peter, Paul, and Mary's Go Tell it on the Mountain, and Eva Cassidy's Over the Rainbow.

welcome to the world, baby boy

well, the clifford name can go on now. harrison james clifford arrived friday morning. mom and baby are doing well. i arrived in town friday evening and took a cab straight to the hospital. not that i was excited or anything. i've enjoyed a weekend of playing with little people, and was even able to take in some live music last night. now i'm off to bed for a few hours before my 6am flight home.

happy birthday

Happy Birthday to my favorite little person.

Mama Louise's Banana Nut Bread

In response to the bread of life post below, my life-long friend, Carla, asked for Mama Louise's Banana Nut Bread recipe. Many a 4-H bread baking contest has been won with this recipe. Here it is.

Mama Louise's Banana Nut Bread

3 bananas
1 t. soda
1 C. sugar
1/2 C. shortening
3 eggs
2 C. flour
1/2 C. nuts
1/2 t. salt

Mix bananas with soda, let stand. Cream sugar, shortening, eggs. Add banana mixture and flour alternately. Add nuts. Grease pan slightly. Bake at 325 degrees for one hour in a loaf pan. Can also make in 3 mini loaves - adjust time to 45 minutes.

High altitude: I'm still trying to perfect this, but reduce the sugar by 2 T. Reduce the soda by a pinch. Increase the oven temp to 340.

little aunt amy

Introducing Little Aunt Amy. Yes, that makes me Big Aunt Amy. But when such a sweet little person names you, how can you complain? Just back from spending some family time, and having a Fisher Price Little People person named after me was the best take-a-way I could have.

it's a good day

- I left Denver last evening, or I would be snowed in.
- Started off the day by seeing my niece, who was just as excited to see me as I was her.
- Nice little roadtrip by myself to Birmingham. Just me and some Starbucks and some Sufjan Stevens. Which I highly recommend - the Sufjan Stevens. Nothing against Starbucks, but they are just common nowadays.
- Went to a luncheon at my old Bible study. Was good to see some familiar faces and to be around so many people who were excited that I was there. Haven't laughed that hard in a long time.
- Then a visit to a couple of favorite neighborhood stores.
- Now I am enjoying an Americano at O'Henry's, my favorite Bham coffee house, and writing from my favorite perch - a high table in the front of the shop, that is kind of hidden by a bunch of shelves with gifts.
- Will follow this up with dinner with 2 close friends. Likely more coffee.
- Will spend the night in what I refer to as The Cave. Bedroom in a friend's basement that is cool and dark, and has the most comfy huge bed. This will somewhat counter-balance my night last night at my Dad's, which was akin to sleeping in a sweat lodge.
- Tomorrow will catch up with a couple of old (I should probably say former, lest they think I am calling them old) mentors. Probably throw in some BBQ, another special place or two, and then back to Music City.
- Overall, a nice little side trip to feed my soul.

why do i live so far away?