pondering my role in a bigger story

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

where I am

"In the end, it doesn’t matter how well we have performed or what we have accomplished—a life without heart is not worth living. For out of this wellspring of our soul flow all true caring and all meaningful work, all real worship and all sacrifice. Our faith, hope, and love issue from this fount, as well. Because it is in our heart that we first hear the voice of God and it is in the heart that we come to know him and learn to live in his love.

So you can see that to lose heart is to lose everything. And a “loss of heart” best describes most men and women in our day. It isn’t just the addictions and affairs and depression and heartaches, though, God knows, there are enough of these to cause even the best of us to lose heart. But there is the busyness, the drivenness, the fact that most of us are living merely to survive. Beneath it we feel restless, weary, and vulnerable.

Indeed, the many forces driving modern life have not only assaulted the life of our heart, they have also dismantled the heart’s habitat—that geography of mystery and transcendence we knew so well as children.

All of us have had that experience at one time or another, whether it be as we walked away from our teachers, our parents, a church service, or sexual intimacy; the sense that something important, perhaps the only thing important, had been explained away or tarnished and lost to us forever. Sometimes little by little, sometimes in large chunks, life has appropriated the terrain meant to sustain and nourish the wilder life of the heart, forcing it to retreat as an endangered species into smaller, more secluded, and often darker geographies for its survival. As this has happened, something has been lost, something vital."

(The Sacred Romance, Brent Curtis & John Eldredge, pg. 3-5)

suck. we so live in a fallen world.

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Anonymous kathy said...

"But there is the busyness, the drivenness, the fact that most of us are living merely to survive. Beneath it we feel restless, weary, and vulnerable."
this feels like me these days, working, working, working, but not feeling satisfied, rested, peaceful. i read this book when it very first came out. i remember how much it stirred up my heart but part of me doesn't even want to go there anymore because it requires so much vulnerability with God and i don't feel like giving it these days....hmmmmm

Thursday, August 16, 2007 8:10:00 AM

Blogger soul and culture said...

Kathy...I read this when it first came out too, and it had a huge impact. Ran across some quotes from it in an old journal the other night. The quote above jumps out at me, too. Seems like I am just in survival mode, toiling along, kind of just getting by. While I hate that, I don't seem to have the energy or emotional fortitude or guts or faith or whatever you want to call it to break the cycle. Put this on the list of things to dialogue about...

Thursday, August 16, 2007 9:30:00 PM

Blogger "PS" said...

I can here via RBGP website. The quote from this book is rich. I am reminded of Parker Palmer's "A Hidden Wholeness" where he talks about the soul being like a wild shy animal. It knows how to defend itself and does so daily, but to really "see" this wild animal we need to provide space and not go trampling all over it...crashing through the forest as Parker Palmer would say.

Monday, August 20, 2007 7:14:00 AM

Blogger will smama said...

weary and vulnerable... very much fallen.
Thank you for these words.

Welcome to revgals.

Monday, August 20, 2007 8:54:00 AM

Blogger Leah Sophia said...

That is far too often hauntingly true--it sounds exactly like my own experience. Welcome to the RevGals!!!

Monday, August 20, 2007 9:56:00 AM

Blogger Amy Stewart said...

Welcome to RevGals! I too feel this way often. A teacher of mine once called this Sloth. Yeah, one of those deadly sins... we feel weary and tired and give up on hoping and believing in God. I wrote about my experience with it here:
For me, that thing that is lost, that "something vital" is my trust in God - gosh, without that I'm lost. It's helpful to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way sometimes. thank you for the post.

Monday, August 20, 2007 11:36:00 AM

Blogger Diane said...

Welcome to Revgals, and here's kind of a weird question: Have you ever heard of the Urban Servant Corp, in Denver? I lived there for a year.

Monday, August 20, 2007 1:56:00 PM

Blogger Songbird said...

What a powerful passage; I will have to look for the book.
Thanks for sharing it, and welcome to RevGalBlogPals!

Monday, August 20, 2007 6:23:00 PM

Blogger soul and culture said...

Thanks to all for the warm welcome to RevGalBlogPals!

Diane, I've not heard of the Urban Servant Corp, but I googled them and it looks like they are up to some good stuff in Denver.

Monday, August 20, 2007 7:40:00 PM


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